Building trust in a relationship takes time, effort, and work. For many couples, there are stumbling points along the way. With honest and open communication, validation, and a new way of viewing actions and words, building trust can be easier. Whether your relationship has suffered from a breach of trust or you’re just getting started, read on for ways to build trust with your partner.
One way to think about building trust is the same way a home is built. There are many things to consider before building a house and it takes a lot of time to get from raw land to finished product. Building a home takes a lot of work and your dream house might not turn out exactly the way you imagined it but be even better in the end. Whether you are in an important relationship for the first time or a first time homeowner, the first step in building trust for the long run is by being open and transparent.
The same way you’d want your real estate agent to be open about any cracks or flaws in the foundation lines, you’ll want your partner to be clear about any past behaviors, insecurities, or self-esteem issues they suffer from that might lead to communication problems or one person or the other assuming their partner’s a cheater down the road.
While it may sound silly, open and honest conversations early on about histories, past resentments, forgiveness, and what you’d like your dream relationship to look like are important. The same way you’d tell your real estate agent your top priority is a big living room, you’ll want to explain honestly how important trust is to you to your partner. Transparency from the beginning will go a long way later on when the honeymoon period is over.
Giving Validation and Reassurance
You and your partner are human, not perfect. Every person needs validation and reassurance here and there. One way to build trust quickly is to not only offer these things but receive them. Be open to your own feelings as well as your partners. Using the same home building analogy, think about patience when it comes to both reassurance and validation.
Where a homeowner just through the construction process might be worried about 5 steps to selling a house fast, partners in relationships tend to want to rush to the finish line when it comes to trust. This can cause problems because trust becomes more about words than actions. Slow down, take your time, and remember that the best first impressions stand the test of time and are deeper than a fresh coat of paint.
Actions Versus Words
We’ve all heard the expression that actions speak louder than words. In very few areas does that phrase ring more true than when it comes to building trust in a romantic relationship. Showing your partner they can trust you on a daily basis through your behaviors is a huge way to build on the hard work and foundation you’ve already laid. Don’t just say you love your partner, show them in the little things you do. Don’t just say you’re faithful, prove that in actions, too.
When Trust Cracks
Even the best people make mistakes here and there. If your relationship has suffered from infidelity, there is still hope for repair if both partners are invested enough to put in the work of fixing the damage. Go back to your relationship blueprint. Think about how excited you first were when you imagined that dream house relationship.
Whether an emotional affair or physical, consider how to trust again after infidelity the same way you would a home renovation. That is, peel that wallpaper off and start again. Hire a professional the same way you would a plumber or electrician. With enough work, you’ll be able to rebuild from that trust foundation.
In the end, the best way to build trust with your partner or partners is to be open to letting them in and following through on your promises. Over time, the trust will grow as you continue to honor your word and maintain transparency, trust will not only grow but strengthen your relationship bond. Soon enough, your relationship might even feel like home again.